Happiness

I was reading my brother's blog entry on Zeng Zimo (曾子墨)'s new book, and it reminds me of a recent thought.

Zimo is a successful presenter at Phoenix TV. She is pretty, smart and professional. She is also knowledgeable in her topic area, finance, having worked in an investment bank previously.

She had what many people considered as a perfect life: She was born into a respectable family and she was a top student at school in China. She later received a scholarship to attend an Ivy League school and graduated with top honours. After university, she was recruited into a prestigious and high-paying role at one of the top investment banks. She has worked on some of the largest global deals and because of her strong performance, she was promoted in a few years.

Having lived an exciting life as an investment analyst, she abruptly decided to have a career change, all because of one book. My brother intentionally left out the details of that book, but I just can't resist finding out more about it.

Thanks to Google, I found the story in no time:

　　"...她已经厌倦了“好像永远在路上”、“飞机上昏暗的机舱”里和“酒店陌生的房间”里的投资银行的工作。有一天在去新加坡出差的夜航飞机上，她翻看棉棉的《糖》，突然发觉：“人怎么样都是活，我为什么非要活在别人认为好的生活里？”棉棉的这本小说让她看到了不同人的生活方式，“别人觉得再好的东西，如果自己不喜欢了，做得不开心，为什么还要做？”..."

(
My attempt at translating the passage:
"... She is tired of the life in the investment bank: 'always being on the road', being in 'the dark cabins on the plane' and 'the foreign bedrooms at the hotels'. On a business trip to Singapore, she read the book "Sugar" by Mianmian, and she suddenly acknowledged that, "Every one has to live a life, why must I live in a life which other peoples dream of?" The book has opened her eyes up and let her see other people's lifestyle decision: "Even if other people consider a thing as good, if I don't like it, and not feeling happy about it, what's the point in doing it?""
)

She then decided to quit her prestigious and high-paying job at the investment bank and spent 4 months trying to 'find her dream lifestyle'. At that time, she was around 26-27.

I'm not sure about you, but I know a lot of people (myself included) who suffer from what is commonly known as 'The quarter-life crisis' (QLC). 'Quarterlife' covers the ages ranging from 21 - 29.

Characteristics of quarter-life crisis include (source: Wiki):

• feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level
• frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
  confusion of identity
• insecurity regarding the near future
• insecurity regarding present accomplishments
• re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
• disappointment with one's job
• nostalgia for university and high school life
• tendency to hold stronger opinions
• boredom with social interactions
• financially-rooted stress
• loneliness
• desire to have children (haha!)
• a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you

Sadly, I have suffered from many of the above symptoms.

Some of the symptoms are linked to the affluenza 'disease', which is termed as "a painful, contagious, socially transmitted condition of overload, debt, anxiety and waste resulting from the dogged pursuit of more." (Source: Wiki) and I have been thinking about this a lot recently.

My decision to move to London was considered as crazy by the people around me: In Sydney, I had free (almost) accommodation, a good job and my good friends.

During my time in London, I have been constantly reflecting on the decision and my life here. Of course, there was always the thoughts/dream of living in a bigger home, working on a high-paying job and being the most popular person in town. But what sacrifices will I have to make to achieve that? Suddenly, I realise I am already very lucky:

• I don't have a high-paying or prestigious job, but it is a job that is very interesting and challenging for me. I have also met a very good boss, who is giving me good guidance and support.
• I am even 'further away' from my family, but I love them very much and I know they love me too
• I don't have many friends, but SP is here with me and I have strong relationships with my London friends
• I am living in a tiny 'box', it is compact but it is in a convenient location and I have everything that I need in my home.
• I miss my high school life, but I am also living an exciting life in London

With that resolved, I am feeling much happier. I am no longer pursuring the perfect life which other people think one should live. I am living my life.